I had an interesting situation occur with my husband, a couple of days ago.
I inadvertently discovered he had been looking at things on the Internet that a married man ought not look at. Really, no decent man ought to look at it. He had even perused a couple of places that led me to (briefly) doubt his faithfulness. Granted, I don't believe the man to be saved, so He doesn't have God at his side to help him to be strong, but he is a grown man, and I feel he at least ought to make an effort. Normally, I believe, he does. But, he says he only avoids such behavior because I "won't let him" do it. He sees nothing wrong with it, and he says I'm over-reacting when I feel hurt when he does it. Even after he promised, yet again for the hundredth time, never to do that anymore (albeit under protest), I still didn't feel that he understood the gravity of the situation, in regards to our marriage. So, when I was flitting about online one night, reading various blogs, and following links as they interested me - homeschooling, femininity, et cetera - I ran across a link to an article that said exactly, precisely, what I was feeling, and expressed plainly what I wanted to tell DH. It was even written by a man. I thought it was helpful, so I emailed it to my hubby. (My husband and I have a somewhat strange relationship. The two of us speaking to each other about anything of any importance pretty much never happens. It is too much pressure for DH, and he will tune it out. So, I have to write down anything I truly need him to hear.)
But enough of the back-ground information, which I'd have preferred to leave out entirely, but it seemed to be important.
The interesting part was this... My husband was angry that I had sent him that email, in which the article had equated his behavior with cheating. He complained that he didn't think what he did was all that bad (something the article implied was a typical male's response) and that he didn't understand why he had to be put through the torture of having to receive such a letter. He saw it as something mean I was doing to him. I actually laughed at that, considering what his behavior had been, which resulted in his receiving such a letter. But he was truly angry that I was doing this to him. He didn't understand why anything had to come of what he had chosen to do. Apparently, I was just supposed to ignore it or shrug it off. He was angry that I had called him on it, and had expected a change in behavior or would choose to behave differently towards him, myself.
Once he stormed outside to cool off, which thankfully works, although nothing ever gets solved, because we never talk about anything, I had a chance to think things over. The conclusion I came to was what I found interesting; indeed, interesting enough, I thought I might put it on here, to see what someone else might think of it. The parallels were striking to me, although perhaps to no one else, since in all likelihood, many others have probably long since come to that conclusion on their own.
My husband was angry at me, because I was "making" there be consequences for his actions. He believes that, if I love him, then he should just be able to do whatever he pleases, with impunity, and never have anything negative come out of it. (This, I find humorous, if only because I have dealt with some pretty heavy consequences myself, coming from him. I have forgotten to bid on an item on eBay, and the result was him having a rather frightening, seething, cussing fit. I have forgotten to fix him a sandwich, or put the laundry away, with the same result.) Now, we all know how the world works. Life is chock full of a million choices, good, bad, and otherwise. Whatever we choose, (and we do get to choose, because God loves us and wants us to choose - but wisely;) whatever we choose always has a consequence. A wise choice has positive consequences - like choosing to eat a healthy meal instead of that big bag of candy you've been eyeing - and a foolish choice has a negative one ("oh, my belly aches!"). Likewise, obeying or disobeying God has consequences. But unlike the "natural consequences" that people see as inevitable and therefore, acceptable, people see God's consequences as Him "making" there be consequences. Like my husband being angry with me, the sinner often becomes angry with God for the consequences of their own actions.
I see this often in the liberal and atheist mind-sets. While they differ in their methodology, they both are dealing with their anger at God for His requiring accountability. If only God didn't have any rules, well, then they would "love" Him. As it stands, they see Him as a big meany who "makes" consequences for actions, when they would just prefer to do whatever pops into their heads, no matter what it is.
However, God is a perfect Father. And any good father has rules, and he sticks by them. Otherwise, his children don't feel they are loved. They feel no safety in their boundaries, and they doubt even themselves. But when the rules are consistent, the children feel secure and loved. Of course, a rebellious child would (in his mind anyway) prefer that there be no rules and no accountability. Sadly, they don't understand that without the rules, they would be very unhappy indeed.
In our society, you can see it everywhere. People are "running wild" doing all sorts of things God never intended. There are consequences for those actions. But those who engage in such behaviors, rather than accept their just desserts, gripe about the rules, and rage against those who remind them that the rules exist.
I wonder what the difference is; what makes some people willing to accept the accountability of life, and others not? Is it possible to make someone realize this is what they are doing? Or is that something only God can do, if He chooses to? God makes choices too. Personally, I'd rather live with THOSE consequences.
Wednesday, July 29, 2009
Thursday, February 08, 2007
Feminism is Wrong
Feminism is killing our country. It is destroying our families, the basic building blocks of any society.
Most people in this country are feminists. I don’t mean that in propaganda terms of equality and freedom. I mean it in practical terms of what feminism is really all about.
Feminists hate women and everything about them. I know, very nearly every feminist will jump back at that, offended, saying “I don’t hate women” and then offer examples to prove it. However, I have my own examples to give. Try them on and see if they don’t fit.
Society today admires women (and attempts to judge their worth) by how much they can be like men. Males’ testosterone drives them to appreciate a perfect feminine body, but their feminist minds rule all else. A woman who can bring in a hefty paycheck is someone seen as having a high value. A woman who excels in sports is admired as having skill. A libidinous woman (i.e. one with a high level of testosterone) is viewed as sexy and desirable. But all 3 are actually masculine traits put on by women today.
Feminists speak of the traditional role of women only with derision. They look with scorn on anyone who dares to embrace that role. If a woman sought to work outside the home, even for a paycheck too small to contribute to the family in any meaningful way, she would be applauded. If she seeks to stay with her children and make her home a priority, she is considered a leech on society.
The only place where Male and feMale feminists diverge is in the feelings on the submissive role traditional women had/have. Men being men, they like to be in control, so they enjoy that aspect of femininity. Woman feminists, in their desire to BE men, also like to be in control. So they try to wrest it from others, often successfully, but at the price of their relationship, which, while it may not die, is left with festering wounds that prevent it from ever being healthy.
Feminism is, at its very core, about running contrary to God’s will. God placed in our hearts an innate knowledge of our roles as men and women. Following Him, we fall into these roles naturally and comfortably. They fit us like a skillfully made glove, like a second skin. Men tend to, and indeed want to, provide, protect, and guide. Women, in their turn, nurture, comfort, and help.
Our society has been training us to reject God’s natural roles for us. Womanly nurturing in the home is being replaced by day-cares and restaurants; comfort, by materialism and addictions; help, by egocentrism and advertising. Manly provision is being negated by the touted-as-necessary second income and welfare; protection, by our nanny-state (micromanaging) laws and the destruction of childhood innocence; and guidance, by moral relativism and political correctness.
These things, when allowed to take hold in our lives unchecked, debase the male/female relationship, and degrade marriage to little more than a contract of sexual exclusivity, and an all too often broken one at that. Little wonder, then, that divorce runs rampant today. One you have produced children, the roles of man and woman overlap to the point of near complete redundancy. Only the children serve to draw them together.
When one considers the ever growing popularity of day-cares, pre-schools, public and private schools, extra-curricular activities, and the networks of friends to pull the children out of the home, and the homework, television, computers, and video games to fill their time within the home, you can also begin to see the likelihood that as the children detach themselves from the parents, the parents will see little reason not to detach themselves from one another.
When you flout God’s biblical roles for men and women you risk losing more than you imagine you might have gained. Like all of God’s laws, natural and otherwise, they exist for a reason. Follow God’s will and you shall gain by it. Go against it and pay the price.
My point is this… Unless our people return to God, and learn to see feminism for what it really is – evil - we can never turn this country around. We will continue this trip down the slippery slope in to the history books as “the grand experiment that failed”.
Most people in this country are feminists. I don’t mean that in propaganda terms of equality and freedom. I mean it in practical terms of what feminism is really all about.
Feminists hate women and everything about them. I know, very nearly every feminist will jump back at that, offended, saying “I don’t hate women” and then offer examples to prove it. However, I have my own examples to give. Try them on and see if they don’t fit.
Society today admires women (and attempts to judge their worth) by how much they can be like men. Males’ testosterone drives them to appreciate a perfect feminine body, but their feminist minds rule all else. A woman who can bring in a hefty paycheck is someone seen as having a high value. A woman who excels in sports is admired as having skill. A libidinous woman (i.e. one with a high level of testosterone) is viewed as sexy and desirable. But all 3 are actually masculine traits put on by women today.
Feminists speak of the traditional role of women only with derision. They look with scorn on anyone who dares to embrace that role. If a woman sought to work outside the home, even for a paycheck too small to contribute to the family in any meaningful way, she would be applauded. If she seeks to stay with her children and make her home a priority, she is considered a leech on society.
The only place where Male and feMale feminists diverge is in the feelings on the submissive role traditional women had/have. Men being men, they like to be in control, so they enjoy that aspect of femininity. Woman feminists, in their desire to BE men, also like to be in control. So they try to wrest it from others, often successfully, but at the price of their relationship, which, while it may not die, is left with festering wounds that prevent it from ever being healthy.
Feminism is, at its very core, about running contrary to God’s will. God placed in our hearts an innate knowledge of our roles as men and women. Following Him, we fall into these roles naturally and comfortably. They fit us like a skillfully made glove, like a second skin. Men tend to, and indeed want to, provide, protect, and guide. Women, in their turn, nurture, comfort, and help.
Our society has been training us to reject God’s natural roles for us. Womanly nurturing in the home is being replaced by day-cares and restaurants; comfort, by materialism and addictions; help, by egocentrism and advertising. Manly provision is being negated by the touted-as-necessary second income and welfare; protection, by our nanny-state (micromanaging) laws and the destruction of childhood innocence; and guidance, by moral relativism and political correctness.
These things, when allowed to take hold in our lives unchecked, debase the male/female relationship, and degrade marriage to little more than a contract of sexual exclusivity, and an all too often broken one at that. Little wonder, then, that divorce runs rampant today. One you have produced children, the roles of man and woman overlap to the point of near complete redundancy. Only the children serve to draw them together.
When one considers the ever growing popularity of day-cares, pre-schools, public and private schools, extra-curricular activities, and the networks of friends to pull the children out of the home, and the homework, television, computers, and video games to fill their time within the home, you can also begin to see the likelihood that as the children detach themselves from the parents, the parents will see little reason not to detach themselves from one another.
When you flout God’s biblical roles for men and women you risk losing more than you imagine you might have gained. Like all of God’s laws, natural and otherwise, they exist for a reason. Follow God’s will and you shall gain by it. Go against it and pay the price.
My point is this… Unless our people return to God, and learn to see feminism for what it really is – evil - we can never turn this country around. We will continue this trip down the slippery slope in to the history books as “the grand experiment that failed”.
Saturday, January 06, 2007
A Quiver Full
Nightline had a program on the other night about the "quiverfull" movement. The people who follow this movement, sometimes unintentionally, believe that any and all birth control is going against God's will, and that God alone should be in control of how many children they have and when. These people also believe that the material goods of this world are not where happiness lies, but in their relationships, both with God and each other. They also subscribe to the idea that God meant for the husband to be the head of the household, and the wive the submissive helpmate.
I think it's a lovely idea. I personally believe similarly, however my husband (ever the feminist) does not. I would be willing to have as many children as God felt I should have. Hubby believes we should have as few as possible, so we can afford to buy more stuff.
Ideally, originally, he would have had none, but I convinced him that that was not the way to go. He caved, and we had one boy. He was thrilled. He said that having that boy was the best thing that ever happened to him in his entire life. But he didn't want any more. No more kids, thank you. We "can't afford" another one. How will we ever buy enough stuff if we have another? How will we ever send the boy to college if we have another? (Never mind the fact that no one in his family ever went to college - save one cousin who became a psychologist and one who became a teacher. Never mind only one of my very large family went to college - to become a teacher. Never mind the fact that we all turned out fine without it.) Just forget having any more children.
Well, I convinced him, with a few chilling examples of people he knows, that having an only child wasn't the way to go either. So we had one more - another charming little boy. That boy, along with our first, was definitely the best thing that ever happened to him. He tells everyone he meets that they are better than any toy he could imagine; they are better than any possession on earth; they are everything to him. But he doesn't want any more. We "can't afford" another one. We won't be able to buy enough stuff, and we certainly couldn't afford to send more than 2 to college. Never mind the fact that he didn't want the first 2 boys but was thrilled with them once we had them, and is eternally grateful for their presence in his life. Never mind that his life would be miserable without these boys that he would have been (stupidly) happy not to have in the first place.
Never mind that we don't yet have any girls. Never mind that old phrase "Daddy's little girl", the one that indicates that it is the girls that wrap themselves around Daddy's heart for life. He doesn't know about little girls. He doesn't know what he's missing, just like he didn't know about little boys before he had them. So, he's content not to have any. If he did, they'd make him so happy he wouldn't know what to do with himself, but he doesn't know that, so he's happy to do without. He's not as happy as he could be, but those who have only ever eaten stale crumbs don't know just how happy they'd be with a warm loaf of fresh bread. Ignorance is bliss, I suppose. But that's how most people think, isn't it?
Having been raised in a large family, I know what everyone else is missing. Believe me, what you gain in material goods pales miserably in comparison to what you lose in relationships with others. Even bad relationships are better than none at all. People are everything, and I do mean everything. Aside from God, the only thing on earth that matters is people. So you have a big fancy house full of wonderful furniture and decorations, but no time to spend with your kids, if you even have any? Better to live in a cardboard box on the street surrounded by a loving family. Do yourself the biggest favor imaginable. Have lots of children. Can't have children? Adopt some. Adopt many. Can't adopt? (It's been known to happen.) Attach yourself to a neighboring family, and "adopt" them instead. No one can have too many people to love or to love them.
Whatever you do, just keep reminding yourself that only the people are important. You know that phrase "you can't take it with you"? It only applies to earthly things. It doesn't apply to relationships. You can and do take people with you. You have them for eternity.
See, those quiverfull people are onto something. They have more than anyone else. They have everything.
I think it's a lovely idea. I personally believe similarly, however my husband (ever the feminist) does not. I would be willing to have as many children as God felt I should have. Hubby believes we should have as few as possible, so we can afford to buy more stuff.
Ideally, originally, he would have had none, but I convinced him that that was not the way to go. He caved, and we had one boy. He was thrilled. He said that having that boy was the best thing that ever happened to him in his entire life. But he didn't want any more. No more kids, thank you. We "can't afford" another one. How will we ever buy enough stuff if we have another? How will we ever send the boy to college if we have another? (Never mind the fact that no one in his family ever went to college - save one cousin who became a psychologist and one who became a teacher. Never mind only one of my very large family went to college - to become a teacher. Never mind the fact that we all turned out fine without it.) Just forget having any more children.
Well, I convinced him, with a few chilling examples of people he knows, that having an only child wasn't the way to go either. So we had one more - another charming little boy. That boy, along with our first, was definitely the best thing that ever happened to him. He tells everyone he meets that they are better than any toy he could imagine; they are better than any possession on earth; they are everything to him. But he doesn't want any more. We "can't afford" another one. We won't be able to buy enough stuff, and we certainly couldn't afford to send more than 2 to college. Never mind the fact that he didn't want the first 2 boys but was thrilled with them once we had them, and is eternally grateful for their presence in his life. Never mind that his life would be miserable without these boys that he would have been (stupidly) happy not to have in the first place.
Never mind that we don't yet have any girls. Never mind that old phrase "Daddy's little girl", the one that indicates that it is the girls that wrap themselves around Daddy's heart for life. He doesn't know about little girls. He doesn't know what he's missing, just like he didn't know about little boys before he had them. So, he's content not to have any. If he did, they'd make him so happy he wouldn't know what to do with himself, but he doesn't know that, so he's happy to do without. He's not as happy as he could be, but those who have only ever eaten stale crumbs don't know just how happy they'd be with a warm loaf of fresh bread. Ignorance is bliss, I suppose. But that's how most people think, isn't it?
Having been raised in a large family, I know what everyone else is missing. Believe me, what you gain in material goods pales miserably in comparison to what you lose in relationships with others. Even bad relationships are better than none at all. People are everything, and I do mean everything. Aside from God, the only thing on earth that matters is people. So you have a big fancy house full of wonderful furniture and decorations, but no time to spend with your kids, if you even have any? Better to live in a cardboard box on the street surrounded by a loving family. Do yourself the biggest favor imaginable. Have lots of children. Can't have children? Adopt some. Adopt many. Can't adopt? (It's been known to happen.) Attach yourself to a neighboring family, and "adopt" them instead. No one can have too many people to love or to love them.
Whatever you do, just keep reminding yourself that only the people are important. You know that phrase "you can't take it with you"? It only applies to earthly things. It doesn't apply to relationships. You can and do take people with you. You have them for eternity.
See, those quiverfull people are onto something. They have more than anyone else. They have everything.
Wednesday, January 03, 2007
A Soldier for God
My son, on our way to a Christmas pageant, announced he was a soldier for God. This surprised me in that he is only 5 and can't possibly have known what that meant. Still he said it, and he meant it. God put it into his head for a reason. I'm just not sure where it is headed from here.
Before my son was born, God told me He was going to use him to do "great things" for Him. He was not specific. He just said "great things". I was, and am, elated but nervous. Elated because it is a wonderful thing to have him claimed by God, and chosen to be use in some great way. Nervous because I tend to worry over what that will mean in the end. Also, I feel a huge responsibility to raise him in the right way so that he will be a willing, eager and able servant for the Lord.
So, when my 5 year old announces that he is a soldier for the Lord, and know from whence it comes. I know what it means as well. He is ready for the next step in his training. I prayed about it, and God said I should help him put on the "whole armor of God". It's a lot to teach such a little one, but every great journey begins with a single step. So, I will be teaching him, as part of his homeschooling (most likely) how to be a knight in the service of the Lord... a warrior against evil... albeit a very small one.
Before my son was born, God told me He was going to use him to do "great things" for Him. He was not specific. He just said "great things". I was, and am, elated but nervous. Elated because it is a wonderful thing to have him claimed by God, and chosen to be use in some great way. Nervous because I tend to worry over what that will mean in the end. Also, I feel a huge responsibility to raise him in the right way so that he will be a willing, eager and able servant for the Lord.
So, when my 5 year old announces that he is a soldier for the Lord, and know from whence it comes. I know what it means as well. He is ready for the next step in his training. I prayed about it, and God said I should help him put on the "whole armor of God". It's a lot to teach such a little one, but every great journey begins with a single step. So, I will be teaching him, as part of his homeschooling (most likely) how to be a knight in the service of the Lord... a warrior against evil... albeit a very small one.
Wednesday, June 08, 2005
Where Have All The Men Gone?
I read this article on how the "macho" man is out, and the new man is taking over.
http://news.yahoo.com/s/afp/20050608/lf_afp/afplifestylefashion_050608142956
It's baffling. Can this be real? Men are somehow rejecting all that society believes make a real man, and are instead embracing a new lifestyle filled with self-serving, self-destructive debauchery. Gone are the days when a man looked forward to finding a wife, settling down & having children. Gone are the values that made men proud of what they could provide for their families. Gone are the ideals of strength and steadfastness that history considered synonymous with masculinity.
Supposedly, these "new men" are not afraid of anything. I think it's quite the opposite. They are afraid of everything that being a man stands for, and they are running from it. Why put in the work to support a family, why deny your most selfish whims for the sake of others, when you can put on a pink flowered shirt and go partner swapping instead?
How did this happen? Feminism, plain and simple. Defying the laws of nature, denying the roles God set up for us, upending centuries of tradition cannot come without consequences. When you usurp men's traditional power and hand it over to women, when you devalue the traditional role of women in society, and disparage men for being men, you wind up with women who don't want to stay home and have babies, and men who don't want to be men.
Well, these aren't men, they're overgrown, overindulged boys who aren't bothering to grow up because society allows them not to. We are so focused on feminism, and giving women power, that we are allowing men to sink back into the background and shirk responsibility. They aren't even taking over the role previously held by women (an impossibility really, but they aren't even trying). They are simply throwing up their hands and running off to play. They are becoming like the fops of previous eras, but at least the fops had some sort of responsibilities. These fellows are doing good if they get themselves breakfast in the morning.
My brother is one of these "new men". He babbles on with great pride about how sensitive he is, and what a wonderful modern man he is, meanwhile he doesn't bother to hold down a steady job, preferring to party his nights away, and hang out with his friends instead. His masculine qualities begin and end in the bedroom. He knows how to dress sharply. Beyond that, he's pretty much useless. And he wonders why he can't keep a girlfriend.
Thing is, while this new lifestyle may be fun and easy, it is self-defeating. Eventually, these new men will still want a steady partner, swapping aside. They will want someone to settle down with them, even if they intend to keep roaming themselves. That's when the awful truth will dawn on them. Women don't actually love men who aren't real men. They may find them fun for a while. They may be boyishly attractive for a time. But when it comes down to finding a mate to raise a family with, women will seek out the steadfast, virile, strong masculine type as their ideal. Feminists may latch on to them for a time, but the relationship is doomed to failure, because no one can respect a man like that, and no woman can love a man she doesn't respect. It isn't necessarily a conscious decision. It's just the call of nature. Real women are attracted to real men.
So rest assured, in spite of its current rise in popularity, the new breed of male won't be on the scene for long.
http://news.yahoo.com/s/afp/20050608/lf_afp/afplifestylefashion_050608142956
It's baffling. Can this be real? Men are somehow rejecting all that society believes make a real man, and are instead embracing a new lifestyle filled with self-serving, self-destructive debauchery. Gone are the days when a man looked forward to finding a wife, settling down & having children. Gone are the values that made men proud of what they could provide for their families. Gone are the ideals of strength and steadfastness that history considered synonymous with masculinity.
Supposedly, these "new men" are not afraid of anything. I think it's quite the opposite. They are afraid of everything that being a man stands for, and they are running from it. Why put in the work to support a family, why deny your most selfish whims for the sake of others, when you can put on a pink flowered shirt and go partner swapping instead?
How did this happen? Feminism, plain and simple. Defying the laws of nature, denying the roles God set up for us, upending centuries of tradition cannot come without consequences. When you usurp men's traditional power and hand it over to women, when you devalue the traditional role of women in society, and disparage men for being men, you wind up with women who don't want to stay home and have babies, and men who don't want to be men.
Well, these aren't men, they're overgrown, overindulged boys who aren't bothering to grow up because society allows them not to. We are so focused on feminism, and giving women power, that we are allowing men to sink back into the background and shirk responsibility. They aren't even taking over the role previously held by women (an impossibility really, but they aren't even trying). They are simply throwing up their hands and running off to play. They are becoming like the fops of previous eras, but at least the fops had some sort of responsibilities. These fellows are doing good if they get themselves breakfast in the morning.
My brother is one of these "new men". He babbles on with great pride about how sensitive he is, and what a wonderful modern man he is, meanwhile he doesn't bother to hold down a steady job, preferring to party his nights away, and hang out with his friends instead. His masculine qualities begin and end in the bedroom. He knows how to dress sharply. Beyond that, he's pretty much useless. And he wonders why he can't keep a girlfriend.
Thing is, while this new lifestyle may be fun and easy, it is self-defeating. Eventually, these new men will still want a steady partner, swapping aside. They will want someone to settle down with them, even if they intend to keep roaming themselves. That's when the awful truth will dawn on them. Women don't actually love men who aren't real men. They may find them fun for a while. They may be boyishly attractive for a time. But when it comes down to finding a mate to raise a family with, women will seek out the steadfast, virile, strong masculine type as their ideal. Feminists may latch on to them for a time, but the relationship is doomed to failure, because no one can respect a man like that, and no woman can love a man she doesn't respect. It isn't necessarily a conscious decision. It's just the call of nature. Real women are attracted to real men.
So rest assured, in spite of its current rise in popularity, the new breed of male won't be on the scene for long.
Saturday, June 04, 2005
Humble Beginnings - Neglectful Parents
I'm the mother of two small boys. One is 3, the other, just over a year. So, perhaps it's my inexperience talking when I say, I just don't understand how some people can consider themselves good parents when they invest so little time in their children. I'm not speaking of generalities so much as I'm speaking of the people I babysit for, and the people I know on a personal basis. My babysitting is not a business, so I feel no obligation towards those I sit for. I'd rather they stayed with their children. Money isn't that important.
One mother who just began using my services in the beginning of April has handed her children over to me every weekend but 2 since then (8 out of 10 weekends), and on the occasional weekday as well. What is so important to her that she would sacrifice her time with her children for it? She has them in daycare 12 hour a day during the week anyway, so you would think on her precious days off she would be eager to see them. You'd imagine she'd be beside herself with anticipation of all the fun things she had planned to do with them.
Instead, she happily drops them at my house on Friday evening, and reluctantly picks them up on Sunday evening. Then she flits off to the beach or the bar scene to have herself a grand time with her boyfriend. Lest you say it's her boyfriend's fault, I assure you, I've known this woman for years. She has always done this, even when she was happily married. She just went with her husband back then.
To make matters worse, when she does keep her children with her, she still makes no attempt to spend any time with them. Her keeping her kids over the weekend doesn't mean she's goes to take them anywhere, or do anything with them. It just means she couldn't afford to go out, so she stays in. The children still have to fend for themselves.
It's a little sickening to me to realize that every weekend she heads off to the beaches, the amusement parks, the clubs and the restaurants, and her children are left behind EVERY time. I don't think they've gone with her more than a handful of times in their 8 and 11 years. They have to notice what goes on. They have to feel someone abandoned, neglected, and left out. How could they not?
Then there's the ones who consider a paying job outside the home to be of supreme importance, and the raising of a child to be of no consequence whatsoever. I don't care what they think of my staying at home. I don't need their validation. But I do believe that children need their parents.
Children do grow up, no matter what you do. They all transform from small children, into grown adults, and move on with their lives. But that doesn't mean that they'll grow up well. It doesn't mean that it doesn't matter what you do because they'll turn out fine in the end. (Which is apparently what the people I associate with believe.) You get out what you put in, and those children who are generally neglected will grow up and neglect their parents later on, when they need them. Why parent's don't see this, I'll never know.
In the end, our relationships with people (and with God, by the way) are the only things that matter at all. The money you make and the fun you have won't satisfy you later on when you look back on them. Only your relationships will sustain you. These parents are ensuring that their potentially most valuable relationships are counted for naught.
Pity them.
One mother who just began using my services in the beginning of April has handed her children over to me every weekend but 2 since then (8 out of 10 weekends), and on the occasional weekday as well. What is so important to her that she would sacrifice her time with her children for it? She has them in daycare 12 hour a day during the week anyway, so you would think on her precious days off she would be eager to see them. You'd imagine she'd be beside herself with anticipation of all the fun things she had planned to do with them.
Instead, she happily drops them at my house on Friday evening, and reluctantly picks them up on Sunday evening. Then she flits off to the beach or the bar scene to have herself a grand time with her boyfriend. Lest you say it's her boyfriend's fault, I assure you, I've known this woman for years. She has always done this, even when she was happily married. She just went with her husband back then.
To make matters worse, when she does keep her children with her, she still makes no attempt to spend any time with them. Her keeping her kids over the weekend doesn't mean she's goes to take them anywhere, or do anything with them. It just means she couldn't afford to go out, so she stays in. The children still have to fend for themselves.
It's a little sickening to me to realize that every weekend she heads off to the beaches, the amusement parks, the clubs and the restaurants, and her children are left behind EVERY time. I don't think they've gone with her more than a handful of times in their 8 and 11 years. They have to notice what goes on. They have to feel someone abandoned, neglected, and left out. How could they not?
Then there's the ones who consider a paying job outside the home to be of supreme importance, and the raising of a child to be of no consequence whatsoever. I don't care what they think of my staying at home. I don't need their validation. But I do believe that children need their parents.
Children do grow up, no matter what you do. They all transform from small children, into grown adults, and move on with their lives. But that doesn't mean that they'll grow up well. It doesn't mean that it doesn't matter what you do because they'll turn out fine in the end. (Which is apparently what the people I associate with believe.) You get out what you put in, and those children who are generally neglected will grow up and neglect their parents later on, when they need them. Why parent's don't see this, I'll never know.
In the end, our relationships with people (and with God, by the way) are the only things that matter at all. The money you make and the fun you have won't satisfy you later on when you look back on them. Only your relationships will sustain you. These parents are ensuring that their potentially most valuable relationships are counted for naught.
Pity them.
Friday, June 03, 2005
My New Blog
I had never intended to do a blog. I thought they were silly and rather egotistical. After all, do I really expect to write down my thoughts on various subjects, mundane or otherwise, and actually have someone out there want to read them? Well, in the end, I decided, no. I don't expect anyone to read them. But I like the idea that there is now somewhere that I can express my thoughts and opinions, and not have to worry about offending anyone, or scaring off a potential friend. Sure, it still might happen, but this is my space, and I'll say what I like. And if no one happens across them at all.... well, that's fine too.
So, these posts, or in a way, letters, are really to no one. Take them or leave them as you see fit.
So, these posts, or in a way, letters, are really to no one. Take them or leave them as you see fit.
Subscribe to:
Posts (Atom)