A Quiver Full

Nightline had a program on the other night about the "quiverfull" movement. The people who follow this movement, sometimes unintentionally, believe that any and all birth control is going against God's will, and that God alone should be in control of how many children they have and when. These people also believe that the material goods of this world are not where happiness lies, but in their relationships, both with God and each other. They also subscribe to the idea that God meant for the husband to be the head of the household, and the wive the submissive helpmate.

I think it's a lovely idea. I personally believe similarly, however my husband (ever the feminist) does not. I would be willing to have as many children as God felt I should have. Hubby believes we should have as few as possible, so we can afford to buy more stuff.

Ideally, originally, he would have had none, but I convinced him that that was not the way to go. He caved, and we had one boy. He was thrilled. He said that having that boy was the best thing that ever happened to him in his entire life. But he didn't want any more. No more kids, thank you. We "can't afford" another one. How will we ever buy enough stuff if we have another? How will we ever send the boy to college if we have another? (Never mind the fact that no one in his family ever went to college - save one cousin who became a psychologist and one who became a teacher. Never mind only one of my very large family went to college - to become a teacher. Never mind the fact that we all turned out fine without it.) Just forget having any more children.

Well, I convinced him, with a few chilling examples of people he knows, that having an only child wasn't the way to go either. So we had one more - another charming little boy. That boy, along with our first, was definitely the best thing that ever happened to him. He tells everyone he meets that they are better than any toy he could imagine; they are better than any possession on earth; they are everything to him. But he doesn't want any more. We "can't afford" another one. We won't be able to buy enough stuff, and we certainly couldn't afford to send more than 2 to college. Never mind the fact that he didn't want the first 2 boys but was thrilled with them once we had them, and is eternally grateful for their presence in his life. Never mind that his life would be miserable without these boys that he would have been (stupidly) happy not to have in the first place.

Never mind that we don't yet have any girls. Never mind that old phrase "Daddy's little girl", the one that indicates that it is the girls that wrap themselves around Daddy's heart for life. He doesn't know about little girls. He doesn't know what he's missing, just like he didn't know about little boys before he had them. So, he's content not to have any. If he did, they'd make him so happy he wouldn't know what to do with himself, but he doesn't know that, so he's happy to do without. He's not as happy as he could be, but those who have only ever eaten stale crumbs don't know just how happy they'd be with a warm loaf of fresh bread. Ignorance is bliss, I suppose. But that's how most people think, isn't it?

Having been raised in a large family, I know what everyone else is missing. Believe me, what you gain in material goods pales miserably in comparison to what you lose in relationships with others. Even bad relationships are better than none at all. People are everything, and I do mean everything. Aside from God, the only thing on earth that matters is people. So you have a big fancy house full of wonderful furniture and decorations, but no time to spend with your kids, if you even have any? Better to live in a cardboard box on the street surrounded by a loving family. Do yourself the biggest favor imaginable. Have lots of children. Can't have children? Adopt some. Adopt many. Can't adopt? (It's been known to happen.) Attach yourself to a neighboring family, and "adopt" them instead. No one can have too many people to love or to love them.

Whatever you do, just keep reminding yourself that only the people are important. You know that phrase "you can't take it with you"? It only applies to earthly things. It doesn't apply to relationships. You can and do take people with you. You have them for eternity.

See, those quiverfull people are onto something. They have more than anyone else. They have everything.