Where Have All The Men Gone?

I read this article on how the "macho" man is out, and the new man is taking over.
http://news.yahoo.com/s/afp/20050608/lf_afp/afplifestylefashion_050608142956

It's baffling. Can this be real? Men are somehow rejecting all that society believes make a real man, and are instead embracing a new lifestyle filled with self-serving, self-destructive debauchery. Gone are the days when a man looked forward to finding a wife, settling down & having children. Gone are the values that made men proud of what they could provide for their families. Gone are the ideals of strength and steadfastness that history considered synonymous with masculinity.

Supposedly, these "new men" are not afraid of anything. I think it's quite the opposite. They are afraid of everything that being a man stands for, and they are running from it. Why put in the work to support a family, why deny your most selfish whims for the sake of others, when you can put on a pink flowered shirt and go partner swapping instead?

How did this happen? Feminism, plain and simple. Defying the laws of nature, denying the roles God set up for us, upending centuries of tradition cannot come without consequences. When you usurp men's traditional power and hand it over to women, when you devalue the traditional role of women in society, and disparage men for being men, you wind up with women who don't want to stay home and have babies, and men who don't want to be men.

Well, these aren't men, they're overgrown, overindulged boys who aren't bothering to grow up because society allows them not to. We are so focused on feminism, and giving women power, that we are allowing men to sink back into the background and shirk responsibility. They aren't even taking over the role previously held by women (an impossibility really, but they aren't even trying). They are simply throwing up their hands and running off to play. They are becoming like the fops of previous eras, but at least the fops had some sort of responsibilities. These fellows are doing good if they get themselves breakfast in the morning.

My brother is one of these "new men". He babbles on with great pride about how sensitive he is, and what a wonderful modern man he is, meanwhile he doesn't bother to hold down a steady job, preferring to party his nights away, and hang out with his friends instead. His masculine qualities begin and end in the bedroom. He knows how to dress sharply. Beyond that, he's pretty much useless. And he wonders why he can't keep a girlfriend.

Thing is, while this new lifestyle may be fun and easy, it is self-defeating. Eventually, these new men will still want a steady partner, swapping aside. They will want someone to settle down with them, even if they intend to keep roaming themselves. That's when the awful truth will dawn on them. Women don't actually love men who aren't real men. They may find them fun for a while. They may be boyishly attractive for a time. But when it comes down to finding a mate to raise a family with, women will seek out the steadfast, virile, strong masculine type as their ideal. Feminists may latch on to them for a time, but the relationship is doomed to failure, because no one can respect a man like that, and no woman can love a man she doesn't respect. It isn't necessarily a conscious decision. It's just the call of nature. Real women are attracted to real men.

So rest assured, in spite of its current rise in popularity, the new breed of male won't be on the scene for long.

Humble Beginnings - Neglectful Parents

I'm the mother of two small boys. One is 3, the other, just over a year. So, perhaps it's my inexperience talking when I say, I just don't understand how some people can consider themselves good parents when they invest so little time in their children. I'm not speaking of generalities so much as I'm speaking of the people I babysit for, and the people I know on a personal basis. My babysitting is not a business, so I feel no obligation towards those I sit for. I'd rather they stayed with their children. Money isn't that important.

One mother who just began using my services in the beginning of April has handed her children over to me every weekend but 2 since then (8 out of 10 weekends), and on the occasional weekday as well. What is so important to her that she would sacrifice her time with her children for it? She has them in daycare 12 hour a day during the week anyway, so you would think on her precious days off she would be eager to see them. You'd imagine she'd be beside herself with anticipation of all the fun things she had planned to do with them.

Instead, she happily drops them at my house on Friday evening, and reluctantly picks them up on Sunday evening. Then she flits off to the beach or the bar scene to have herself a grand time with her boyfriend. Lest you say it's her boyfriend's fault, I assure you, I've known this woman for years. She has always done this, even when she was happily married. She just went with her husband back then.

To make matters worse, when she does keep her children with her, she still makes no attempt to spend any time with them. Her keeping her kids over the weekend doesn't mean she's goes to take them anywhere, or do anything with them. It just means she couldn't afford to go out, so she stays in. The children still have to fend for themselves.

It's a little sickening to me to realize that every weekend she heads off to the beaches, the amusement parks, the clubs and the restaurants, and her children are left behind EVERY time. I don't think they've gone with her more than a handful of times in their 8 and 11 years. They have to notice what goes on. They have to feel someone abandoned, neglected, and left out. How could they not?

Then there's the ones who consider a paying job outside the home to be of supreme importance, and the raising of a child to be of no consequence whatsoever. I don't care what they think of my staying at home. I don't need their validation. But I do believe that children need their parents.

Children do grow up, no matter what you do. They all transform from small children, into grown adults, and move on with their lives. But that doesn't mean that they'll grow up well. It doesn't mean that it doesn't matter what you do because they'll turn out fine in the end. (Which is apparently what the people I associate with believe.) You get out what you put in, and those children who are generally neglected will grow up and neglect their parents later on, when they need them. Why parent's don't see this, I'll never know.

In the end, our relationships with people (and with God, by the way) are the only things that matter at all. The money you make and the fun you have won't satisfy you later on when you look back on them. Only your relationships will sustain you. These parents are ensuring that their potentially most valuable relationships are counted for naught.

Pity them.

Little Bluebird 

My New Blog

I had never intended to do a blog. I thought they were silly and rather egotistical. After all, do I really expect to write down my thoughts on various subjects, mundane or otherwise, and actually have someone out there want to read them? Well, in the end, I decided, no. I don't expect anyone to read them. But I like the idea that there is now somewhere that I can express my thoughts and opinions, and not have to worry about offending anyone, or scaring off a potential friend. Sure, it still might happen, but this is my space, and I'll say what I like. And if no one happens across them at all.... well, that's fine too.

So, these posts, or in a way, letters, are really to no one. Take them or leave them as you see fit.