Humble Beginnings - Neglectful Parents

I'm the mother of two small boys. One is 3, the other, just over a year. So, perhaps it's my inexperience talking when I say, I just don't understand how some people can consider themselves good parents when they invest so little time in their children. I'm not speaking of generalities so much as I'm speaking of the people I babysit for, and the people I know on a personal basis. My babysitting is not a business, so I feel no obligation towards those I sit for. I'd rather they stayed with their children. Money isn't that important.

One mother who just began using my services in the beginning of April has handed her children over to me every weekend but 2 since then (8 out of 10 weekends), and on the occasional weekday as well. What is so important to her that she would sacrifice her time with her children for it? She has them in daycare 12 hour a day during the week anyway, so you would think on her precious days off she would be eager to see them. You'd imagine she'd be beside herself with anticipation of all the fun things she had planned to do with them.

Instead, she happily drops them at my house on Friday evening, and reluctantly picks them up on Sunday evening. Then she flits off to the beach or the bar scene to have herself a grand time with her boyfriend. Lest you say it's her boyfriend's fault, I assure you, I've known this woman for years. She has always done this, even when she was happily married. She just went with her husband back then.

To make matters worse, when she does keep her children with her, she still makes no attempt to spend any time with them. Her keeping her kids over the weekend doesn't mean she's goes to take them anywhere, or do anything with them. It just means she couldn't afford to go out, so she stays in. The children still have to fend for themselves.

It's a little sickening to me to realize that every weekend she heads off to the beaches, the amusement parks, the clubs and the restaurants, and her children are left behind EVERY time. I don't think they've gone with her more than a handful of times in their 8 and 11 years. They have to notice what goes on. They have to feel someone abandoned, neglected, and left out. How could they not?

Then there's the ones who consider a paying job outside the home to be of supreme importance, and the raising of a child to be of no consequence whatsoever. I don't care what they think of my staying at home. I don't need their validation. But I do believe that children need their parents.

Children do grow up, no matter what you do. They all transform from small children, into grown adults, and move on with their lives. But that doesn't mean that they'll grow up well. It doesn't mean that it doesn't matter what you do because they'll turn out fine in the end. (Which is apparently what the people I associate with believe.) You get out what you put in, and those children who are generally neglected will grow up and neglect their parents later on, when they need them. Why parent's don't see this, I'll never know.

In the end, our relationships with people (and with God, by the way) are the only things that matter at all. The money you make and the fun you have won't satisfy you later on when you look back on them. Only your relationships will sustain you. These parents are ensuring that their potentially most valuable relationships are counted for naught.

Pity them.